I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
