You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
