maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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