I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
