What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
