Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
