my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
