Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The uberlube is also flammable
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
