I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
