I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
