seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
