About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
