So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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