I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
