My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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