I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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