I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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