Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
