i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
