you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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