I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize