Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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