Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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