I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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