You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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