now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize