you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize