i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I believe in your delicious
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
