i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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