Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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