just tell him i said nine months
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
