I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
