we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Are we still banned from the library?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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