6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize