You work out of a Hotel?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
