Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
