you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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