I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
