It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
