i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
