i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
