chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
