you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
