Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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