Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
