Little spoons don't ask big questions
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
