I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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