yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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