In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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