Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
