I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
