I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
