you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
