At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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