I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
