have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
