my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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