My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
