Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When did angry sex become our thing?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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