I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This is not my ceiling
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
